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Profile of a Mullet
Personality
Having a mullet is often a sign of deep psychological problems. Most Mullets have a problem with aggression, and have a mullet to show that they reject society and hate just about everything and everyone who is different from them. Whilst rejecting society is not necessarily a bad thing if you have a good reason, but people with mullets don’t, they just don’t like it because its cleverer than them.
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As mentioned mullets tend to be quite aggressive to people they don’t know, or people who have a decent haircut. They are always highly opinionated and usually of very low intelligence. |
Traditional Mullet Pastimes
Mullets have always enjoyed a range of wholesome activities, such as shooting guns, fighting, getting drunk. They also like to relax in front of the TV usually watching monster trucks, worlds greatest police chases and porn (for which many like to take part in).
The new ‘Fashion Mullets’ just like to ponce around showing of their mullets.
Mullet Cars
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The classic mullet mobile is a Chevrolet Camaro, the older the better! Mullets also have been known to drive other cars such as Pontiacs, again the older and more battered the better. |
However these have never been available in Europe (mainly because they are crap) so most mullets in the UK go for a Vauxhall Carlton or Ford Granada, ironically the new fashion mullets usually dream of owning ‘hairdresser's cars’ (fake sports cars, good for posing but not driving). Good examples of these are Audi TTs and BMW Z3s but sadly most fashion mullets can’t afford these (who would give someone with a mullet a high paid job?)
Mullet Fact!! 36% of mulleted men aged 35-50 have
a Vauxhall Omega*
Going to the hairdressers
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A Toni & Guy Mullet
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Traditional mullets rarely go to get their hair cut as its quite easy for them to do it themselves. This is one area where fashion mullets differ significantly from normal mullets, they seem to think their hair needs to be done by an expert so they foolishly pay over the odds for it at somewhere like Tony & Guy.
This photo clearly shows what will happen to your hair if you get it cut here so they must know they are going to get a mullet, its no accident. The question is, do these people really walk into a hairdressers and sit down and say “I’ll have a mullet please” or do they sit down and murmur quietly “short on the top and sides but leave the back long” feeling deeply ashamed and embarrassed? Who knows.
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* Yes Really it's true!